The Need For Vengeance


When we take a look at the root cause of violence, it mainly boils down to several negative human emotions: vengeance, jealousy, greed, hatred and anger. Mental illness can also play a part in some circumstances.

We are shaped by our thoughts. We become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

When we’ve been wronged by someone, our emotions flare and we sense a need for justice on our behalf. Some people are able to move beyond the thought of revenge, while others allow themselves to be caught in the trap of getting even.

For example

Gabriel hated waking up everyday to go to school. Several guys at school made it a point to make his life a living nightmare. He couldn’t understand why they constantly picked on him, he’d never done anything to them. Yet, day after day, he finds himself trying to avoid any area of the school where they may be. But it doesn’t help much because the teasing never stops. The jokes never end. The bullying never stops. And neither does the thoughts that’s been running through Gabriel’s head for the past few weeks……bring the gun to school and blow their friggin’ brains out.

It’s scenarios like these that are the perfect recipe for violence. In order to keep from going off the deep end and engaging in behavior you normally wouldn’t, there are a few things to always keep in mind:

1. The power of positive thinking is real….not cliche’.

When a negative thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive one. Do this all day long. It can become quite the struggle but you’re training your mind to become more positive and it will put up a little resistance at first but stick with it and you’ll find yourself with a much better perspective on things in general.

2. Revenge only makes you more like your aggressor.

That person’s most definitely an a$$….doesn’t mean you have to be one as well. Let them act like annoying jerks while you be the best version of yourself possible. More than likely, there’s something about you that they envy. Don’t extinguish your light because other’s are blind.

3. Take it seriously.

Any complaint from a child about being bullied should be taken seriously. With technology and social media advances, the opportunity for total humiliation is an absolute reality. Don’t expect for your child to automatically know how to deal with it or to just ignore it.

4. At some point, let go.

I know this may sound like a contradiction to #3 but it isn’t. There’s a difference between not ignoring a child who may need help or protection and an adult whose harboring ill feelings for someone who has wronged them.

As such, this one can be a bit more difficult depending on the offense. But the more you dwell on something the more the negative thoughts are going to keep coming. Turn your focus to something else like a hobby, helping other’s or whatever it is you enjoy doing. Do whatever it may take to get your mind off of it.

In the end, allowing someone else to dictate how you react is just not worth it. Neither is violence done in vengeance. Throw that lit match in the water and get on with life.

Have you ever been tempted to seek vengeance on someone? 



4 thoughts on “The Need For Vengeance

  1. Hi Tasha,

    When you say the root cause of violence is mainly due to negative emotions, are you speaking about a specific type of violence or violence in general?

    I ask because violence is typically caused by a need for something. That need can be status, monetary gain, urge release and emotional response; depending on the type of violence. For example, a resource predator is usually looking for monetary gain in tangible items like money, cars or other valuables (reason could be jealiously but usually not, think drug users needing a fix, etc.). Domestic violence, on the other hand, typically is an emotional response, like you described but can also be predatory.

    Sorry for the long response, I’d just like to fully understand your point of view.

    1. Hi Chris,
      I’m speaking of violence in general. I believe any kind of violence (except in the case of mental illness) has it’s roots in negative human emotion, even if there’s a “need” for something. A drug dealer is usually motivated by greed. Even if s/he is trying to put food on the table the need for more is always there. Violence, such as rape, can be rooted in hatred and the “need” to control. Someone who has the urge for violence has deep psychological problems which would more likely be linked to mental illness. Hope this makes sense. Appreciate your question!

  2. What a thoughtful and interesting post. You are really doing a fabulous job on your blog and I love the interaction with your readers. Thank you for bringing up the points on this topic you did. FABULOUS! Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow

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